


Something That Can't Be Made (A Heart)

by Moonlit_Fics



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Android Logic | Logan Sanders, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Minor Character Death, Robot Logic | Logan Sanders
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-10
Updated: 2019-04-10
Packaged: 2020-01-11 01:44:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,925
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18420272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moonlit_Fics/pseuds/Moonlit_Fics
Summary: based heavily on the Vocaloid song KokoroDr Thomas Sanders has created the most advanced and lifelike android to date... but it can't feel emotion.Thomas wants to share the world with Logic, but before he can appreciate it...He needs a heart





	Something That Can't Be Made (A Heart)

The first sound that Logic ever heard was the small click of a cable coming off of the back of his neck.  
‘L.O.G.I.C.- ACTIVE’

The Android moved, moved from the lifeless slumped position it had been in for ten years to sit up straight and open its eyes. Thomas grinned; he’d worked on him for his whole adult life and here he was, and he was perfect. Well, almost, but he’d fix that in a moment.  
He took in the form in front of him; it-well, he, now that he was running- looked just like a living person.  
Logic had bright blue eyes and pale perfect... skin. It was almost skin, really, though not quite. His dark brown hair was real though, and combed back neatly. Yes, he was everything Thomas had hoped. Except...  
Logic turned his head, first to one side then the other. It was clear he was looking for something.  
Thomas sighed, cursing himself for being so messy as he scrambled through his cluttered desk until he came back with a pair of glasses. Each side had a plug where it would plug into a hole behind each ear.  
Thomas simply hadn’t had enough space in the android for all the components that would give the android his high definition vision.  
The solution he’d come up with was to put the components that wouldn’t fit in the androids head into a pair of thick glasses for the android, to keep from having to restructure the whole body to make the head bigger and change the body type to be anatomically correct when paired with the head. Sure enough, it seemed successful, according to the expression on his creations face. Well, now or never.  
Thomas stepped back a slight distance with an excited grin.

“Hi, I’m Dr. Thomas Sanders. It’s nice to finally meet you after all these years, Logic!” He beamed, holding out a hand that was hesitantly shaken by the new ‘life’ in front of him. It felt impossible, unreal. But here he was.

Logic blinked a few times before meeting Thomas’ eyes.  
“Hello, Dr. Sanders. I am Logic. It’s nice to meet you as well.” He replied formally. His voice was a slightly modified version of Thomas’ own, though slightly deeper.  
Just different enough that Thomas didn’t feel like he was only talking to himself.

Thomas’ smile widened “so, how you feel now that you’re... alive?!”  
Logic looked thoughtful for a moment as he checked his systems  
“I am in optimal working condition”  
“That’s... not what I meant. How do you feel?”

“Perfectly serviceable. As I’ve only just been powered on for the first time I am in perfect condition”

Thomas frowned. Wasn’t he experiencing some type of emotion? Anything? Synthetic or not his brain should be making the same signals as a humans.

“What’s my purpose?”

“Just to keep me company, really. I’m not the most social of people. I was lonely and determined so... here you are”

Logic tilted his head “something so simple? Why spend so long then?”

“I also had something to prove. You know you’re currently the most advanced piece of technology ever created”

Logic nodded “I am aware, I already searched my database”  
Thomas frowned. This... wasn’t as successful as he thought. This wasn’t the organic interaction he expected. There was no emotion to it. It felt like a hollow victory. However, he wasn’t giving up, not when he had the possibility to give Logic the experience of joy, excitement, anticipation... He’d keep trying until he got it right. Tweaking the android, using different real world stimuli... he’d figure it out  
The whole first month was attempting food based emotional stimuli. Logic had functioning taste buds, so surely some of Thomas’ favorite food would work, right?

Nope.

Thomas sighed, washing Logic’s removable stomach out, as the android never had to use the bathroom so it had to be emptied by hand. It did give him time to think though. What other stimuli could they try next?  
The second month was nature, lovely forests and walks around the pond, Florida swamps natural springs, beaches and groves. Thomas’ heart sank whenever he saw something beautiful and turned to Logic, just to find his expression blank. It felt hopeless  
The third month was animals. Fourth was musicals. The fifth was movies and the sixth seventh and eighth were all sports. He tried so hard to make his creation feel.

But no matter what, this android- this android that Thomas began to see as a son- didn’t feel. Not a single thing, and it hurt Thomas that he couldn’t give him that.

It was ironic that in this search Thomas was so full of feelings, speaking to someone so empty.

A friend told Thomas to give up. That it was just a machine, he could make a new one with functioning emotions, no doubt. And how could Thomas possibly explain to him that he cared so much for this android, even with the lack of personality?  
That’s the thing about feelings, they make no sense to those who haven’t felt it.

And so Thomas threw himself back into his work.

Logan watched him for years and years, slaving away at the computer or inside his ‘brain’  
He never worked weekends though, no matter what they always had outings on weekends. Whether it was Thomas in denial that the stimuli wouldn’t work, or just trying to maintain a sense of schedule was unclear to both, but not significant.  
It had been years. Thomas was too weak to stand anymore without a crutch, and he coughed up blood every now and then. 

 

It didn’t matter to Logic.

 

Thomas has injured himself many times and often couldn’t stand after falling.

 

It didn’t matter to Logic.

 

One day Thomas, white haired and sickly randomly stopped his daily routine and walked out the door.

 

It didn’t matter to Logic.

Nor did the fact he didn’t come home that night.

Or the next.

 

Or ever.

 

It didn’t matter to Logic.

 

But there was one thing, only one thing Logic had always been able to feel;  
Curiosity. And so, he checked the internet. The news when he searched Thomas’ name was exactly what he thought. 

‘Revolutionary Scientist Thomas Sanders Dies At Age 98’

That seemed about right to Logic. He’d figured as much. But he was still curious. But his curiosity would have to wait. 

And wait it did, for nearly a hundred years  
Logic somehow remained the most incredible technological marvel the world had ever seen by far. But still he was curious.  
And he remained that way until one day, he finally found the correct files  
He looked through a large folder on the computer with his name on it and scanned through it until he found something he didn’t recognize as a file that was in him.

It was simply labeled ‘HEART’

Logic tilted his head. He’d always heard Thomas talk to him about a heart. But his cardiovascular system was artificial and only existed so that he had the ability to blush and a heartbeat.  
Logic was perplexed but set it into an update mode. He touched the screen.

 

Logic stumbled back, feeling 160 years of feeling wash over him  
No words could possibly hope to describe the intense feelings of tears upon years of anger and happiness and annoyance and-  
And he was crying  
He was crying and he was happy, sad angryexcitedscareddisgustedshocked-  
He sobbed. He sobbed and sobbed until his neck beeped to signal that the body needed to drink water in order to continue.

Logic was quite literally out of tears, but it didn't matter. he was excited now. He wanted to experience everything.

So he went for a walk. He walked until he found the forest. he walked a familiar path that felt different alone.  
Logic found the pond days later, same story. Then the springs and he realized he had more feelings. repressed feelings.  
So he went home. He went and sat on Thomas' bed and he thought. 

Feelings were so new, and these ones felt different. warm and secure, and only happened when he thought about his creator. A safe warm feeling like a child being held by a parent.  
Thomas was his father, wasn't he? He created him and kept him safe and-  
and he was gone now.

oh  
This feeling was new.  
Logic felt something in his throat, and a slight burning sensation in his nose. It felt like powerlessness. It felt like sadness, like regret, denial, pain, fear, sadness...  
Grief.  
An overwhelming grief that made him fight for air despite not needing to breathe. just because he didn't need to breathe didn't mean that lack of air still felt like drowning.  
it suffocated him. He wanted Thomas, he really wanted him now.  
So he went to see him.  
It was morbid, all these humans laying under the ground as people stood above them to visit. At least it was until he found Thomas' grave and felt as though he was right there.

Logic knelt down. "Thomas... you did it" he muttered softly. "you did it and I can feel things and its wonderful, and exciting but.... I feel.... bad. Right now. I don't.... I don't like it."

Logic didn't know what he expected, but for some reason it wasn't this... silence. He knew he couldn't respond but....  
"I get it now. Why you spent your entire life making this for me. Why you slaved over that computer until your death, wasting your life. You were giving me a life"  
The android trembled. "I can't possibly thank you enough. I can't, it's impossible I'm sure"  
His heart thumped hard and he placed a hand over it gingerly. it had only been a week, but he was already scared to damage it and be forced to live without it again.  
"I understand my purpose, finally. I didn't when I couldn't feel but now...I feel so alone, is this how you felt? " Logic sighed "I wish you were here"  
He closed his eyes, going back into his brain in search of something.

 

A folder, in which resided every memory of the weekend adventures they'd shared. Without his permission they all played, but Logic managed to hear every single one despite them all playing at the same time. This time though, when he cried, it felt... better. freeing.

 

"I wish I got to experience this with you. See your elation when I finally smiled at what smiled at. Laughed at what you laughed at. but all I can do it thank you" he smiled softly, before he was interrupted by a tiny squeak behind him. He turned to it curiously.

 

A grown man stood there holding a little boy while two older kids stood by his side. One stared apprehensively while the other simply raised an eyebrow. The child however, wiggled violently in his father's arms in an attempt to reach him.  
"Logic!" he cheered, making grabby hands as his frazzled father tried his best to keep a hold on his kid.

Logic was shocked to say the least. He looked so human that most people simply passed him by if they didn't see him at a science convention. However this little boy knew exactly who he was. he offered a kind smile too the father who returned it with an apologetic look. 

"I'm sorry, he's been learning about technology in class and I think you remind him of Th-"  
"No, No he's correct.”

The father looked up, surprised. Of course the little boy in his arms saw that as the perfect moment to strike, biting his hathers arm and freeing himself to attach himself to Logic, who was perplexed. He'd never interacted with young children, and this one had to be eight or nine. 

"Roman!" the father yelped, holding his arm. "You don't bite, that's not very princely of you!"

"That's not very princely of you" he mocked in a higher voice, and his father turned red in embarrassment. One of the older kids smirked in pride.

Logic smiled slightly  
"I'm sorry, we forgot introductions! Thi-" He was cut off by a loud  
"HI! I'm Roman, but you can call me Prince Roman"

He smiled when no one else introduced themselves, seeing it as an invitation to do so.  
"This is daddy, or dad. Neither are his real name but he has a secret 'dentity like a superhero"  
The father smiled, and whispered 'Patton', not wanting his son to see his 'identity revealed'

He pointed to the two older kids, almost identical other than a few cosmetic changes, like one of them having dyed his hair purple and the other having cartilage piercings  
"This is Rude Mcrudeface and Dumb-"

Patton covered his mouth quickly "The twins are Virgil and Remus"

This was met with protests from both  
"Virge"  
"Remy!"

Patton gave another apologetic look "Right. They're sixteen, so they're a bit grumpy.... a lot"  
Logic offered a smile "It's alright. What're you here for?"  
"Roman, as I mentioned, is learning about this in school and wanted to come see Thomas' grave. He's my great uncle, actually"  
Logic blinked. Right, Thomas had mentioned siblings once or twice.He tilted his head. He hadn't had a conversation since he'd developed the ability to feel. perhaps he could make... 'friends'

He approached Patton, not wanting to get Roman's hopes up if the answer was no. "I've never done this before but... I've been taking care of the lab since I was created, noone but me has been inside since his death. But... Well, the kid seems really interested and-"  
Patton blinked "Are you inviting us to go into the research lab?"  
"Well.... yes, but you are welcome to ref-"  
"I'm sure he'd love that! you're so sweet!"

Logic smiled. He felt warm inside, he made his first friends.

 

 

It was another month before the next largest stepping stone in his life. Logic was babysitting Roman, since Patton was busy but the twins were out of state on a bit of a field trip for school

Roman and Logic are making bracelets on Thomas' bed when Roman breaches the subject.  
"you seem really human"  
Logic nods. 

"You don't really like it when people treat you like not a human, right?"  
He nods again. 

"Well maybe you should go by a more person-y name?"

Logic blinked "That's.... brilliant. How do I come up with one?"

Roman puffed his chest out. "No need, I already made one! Your name is gonna be William Edward John Richard Henry Louis Alfred Fredrick Peter George Charles Sanders XXXIII"

Logan blinked. "I'm sorry, William Edward John Richard Henry Louis Alfred Fredrick Peter George Charles Sanders the 33rd?"

"Mhm!"  
"Absolutely not"

Roman pouted and Logic's expression softened a bit "I see what you did though, and I'm flattered you thought it fitting to name me after several great historical European Kings"

Roman smiled "really?"

Logic smiled back fondly. "Yes, really. it's just that Thomas gave me the name Logic, I'd like a name as close to that as possible"  
"well why don't you do the thing where you check the internet in your head?"

Logic did just that and in the time it took him to blink he had a name.

"I think Logan is an adequate name. it should suffice in public"

Roman beamed "and there's 'an' at the end, like Roman!" 

"That there is" The doorbell rang then, and the android opened the door for Patton. 

"Hi!" the short man on the other side of the door smiled his infectious smile. Logan cursed Thomas in his head for giving him the ability to blush.

"Salutations Patton"

Roman bounced up "Daddy!" He jumped into Patton's arms and Patton swing him around "Daddy! this is Logan! He picked a human name so now no one knows he's a robot, like a spy! a ROBOT spy!"

Patton chuckled "Logan, huh? I like it"

Logan smiled softly "Well... Time for a change I suppose" I wasn't a bad one, his new name wasn't too unfamiliar, so he'd respond to it in no time.

"Daddy, now that Logan's like a human, he's a guy, right?"

".... yes...?"

"Don't you go on dates wi-"

Patton covered his mouth "I'm so sorry Logi- Logan. we best be going. have a good evening!" He picked Roman up and was gone. Logan shook his head with a chuckle, that kid was going to get a stern talking to for whatever he was saying, he was sure.

 

Logan helped with Roman, gave advice to the twins, helped Roman with his pet snake Dee, and pined hopelessly over their father. 

He noticed things change gradually though.The subtle shift between the suspected relations between him and Roman, for one. Over the years, ‘Is this your father?’ had turned to ‘Is this your older brother?’ to ‘is this your boyfriend’, and finally, ‘Is this your little brother?’.

of course things couldn't be perfect.  
Patton, who Logan had met while he was in his early forties was in his late fifties by the time Logan finally admitted to himself he loved him. He didn’t dare tell Patton though.  
But Logan?  
Logan hadn't aged a day.

Roman was in college now and Remy was married to a therapist, Virgil had started a QPR with his best friend Elliott  
Time passed for everyone but Logan.

Friends, Loves... didn't matter. He'd pictured this idyllic life but had forgotten that everyone else would age.

Everyone else would die.  
Like Thomas.

 

Only this time?  
Logan would feel it.


End file.
